PUERTO VALLARTA, Mexico
Jeffrey Epstein, the person as soon as thought able to bringing down a number of governments with insider details about his immense pedophila ring and intercourse island, was reportedly seen alive in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico early this morning. A vacationer visiting the world from Atlanta stated they acknowledged him instantly.
“I used to be type of shook, it was like seeing a ghost,” stated the vacationer, who wished to stay nameless. “His homicide – er, I imply, his suicide – was just about the most important story of 2019 earlier than it bought swept away by the media. I’ve seen the man’s face so many instances on the information and on social media in memes, there’s no method I used to be mistaken.”
One other reported sighting of Epstein got here solely three hours later, and police had been notified.
“Actually, you’d assume after they faked his dying, he’d go someplace slightly extra distant than a resort in Mexico,” stated Carl Richards, who’s vacationing within the space whereas going via a bitter divorce. “I got here down right here to chill out and cease fascinated about my bitch ex-wife, however now I feel it’s time to go. If Epstein is right here, and this information is breaking out, it received’t be lengthy earlier than the place is overrun with paparazzi.”
A single picture was taken by the nameless one who first seen Epstein as he exited a Puerto Vallarta resort.
“I needed to get nearer, however I didn’t wish to spook him,” stated the supply. “The image is horrible, however I ended up strolling proper previous him. It’s undoubtedly Epstein.”