PUERTO VALLARTA, Mexico
Jeffrey Epstein, the person as soon as thought able to bringing down a number of governments with insider details about his immense pedophila ring and intercourse island, was reportedly seen alive in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico early this morning. A vacationer visiting the realm from Atlanta mentioned they acknowledged him instantly.
“I used to be form of shook, it was like seeing a ghost,” mentioned the vacationer, who wished to stay nameless. “His homicide – er, I imply, his suicide – was just about the most important story of 2019 earlier than it received swept away by the media. I’ve seen the man’s face so many occasions on the information and on social media in memes, there’s no method I used to be mistaken.”
One other reported sighting of Epstein got here solely three hours later, and police have been notified.
“Actually, you’d suppose after they faked his demise, he’d go someplace somewhat extra distant than a resort in Mexico,” mentioned Carl Richards, who’s vacationing within the space whereas going by way of a bitter divorce. “I got here down right here to calm down and cease eager about my bitch ex-wife, however now I feel it’s time to go. If Epstein is right here, and this information is breaking out, it gained’t be lengthy earlier than the place is overrun with paparazzi.”
A single photograph was taken by the nameless one who first seen Epstein as he exited a Puerto Vallarta resort.
“I wished to get nearer, however I didn’t need to spook him,” mentioned the supply. “The image is horrible, however I ended up strolling proper previous him. It’s undoubtedly Epstein.”