Black owned business earns 7 million dollars selling chocolate molds of his penis

You Can Now Send a Chocolate Penis to Anyone You Want, Anonymously


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Tennessee rapper name Keopatrick has sold over 7 million worth of his penis.

 Do you know how I know we’re living in the future? It’s simple. Dick At Your Door exists. This new company allows you to send a bar of chocolate shaped like an anatomically correct penis to just about anyone you want. Anonymously. So if you’ve ever wanted to venomously shriek “eat a dick!” at your ex and then avoid any repercussions, now’s your chance to put your money where your mouth is. Even better? You can send it instantly it via Amazon Prime

See? I told you the future was bright. We may be living in a simulation that’s gone off the rails, but at the very least this simulation has given us chocolate dongs we can hatefully overnight to each other’s homes.

Here’s the thing: this member’s not a friendly, harmless, Ken Doll-esque plastic mound. It’s veiny, it’s size-appropriate, and hell, it’s frightfully realistic. Anyone receiving this gift who intends to consume it will be experiencing the real deal, so to speak.


Color me impressed. Chocolatiers are really pushing the creative boundaries these days.

via: Dick At Your Door

With Dick At Your Door, you can either get sweet, sweet chocolate-y revenge on someone you hate or perhaps the person you’re sending a dick to just likes dicks. Only you can decide if this is a threat or a thank you gift. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, after all.

The company offers four versions of their product. First up, the classic Happy Birthday Dick!

via: Dick At Your Door

This dick comes with a birthday card and is available for 29.99 on their website but 19.99 on Amazon.

The company makes some big claims about their product:

100% Anonymously Sent and 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed!

Handmade Gourmet Chocolate! Vegan, Delicious, and Made in America!

Insulated Packaging during Summer Months For Guaranteed Delivery Perfection!

So many exclamation points!


The Don

via: Dick At Your Door

The Don is a classic, masculine option that comes in a sleek black box. It’s also currently on sale!

The dick inside is chocolate, for those who are curious.


The Blossom Box – Chocolate

via: Dick At Your Door

The Blossom box is a good option for those looking for a kindler, gentler presentation. Perhaps a good option for those who are sending the dick with good intentions. Not a bad idea for Valentine’s Day.


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